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Advice on Breaking Up

You Can Get Through It!


Couple breaking up, back to back with troubled expressions Dating Success Guide and Email Course Sign Up - Click here

OK, so it's not going well for whatever reason. Your boyfriend or partner just isn't living up to your expectations, or doesn't want to see you any more or you just know that it's not working out. Be honest with yourself about why it's not working and don't hang on in there if he doesn't want the same from a relationship as you.

Even though breaking up really can be "hard to do", you can save yourself weeks, months or years of lost or wasted time by getting out early on if your intuition tells you it just isn't working.

If it's you that wants the split

In this case be kind and gentle upon your ex-to-be. In other words, do as you would be done to. Tell him that you want to finish as kindly as you can. Believe me, you are doing him a favour by letting him go to move on to someone who can love him in the way that he deserves. Don't promise to be friends, unless this is something that you can deliver on. Sometimes the kindest way is to get out of the way and allow your partner the space to get over you. If he tries to cling on to you, then you must gently but firmly stop all contact. Perhaps you might allow him an opportunity to discuss it but be honest about it being over and don't relent out of guilt. Withdraw from the situation as soon as possible.

If it's your other half that wants the split

As much as you desperately want to hang on in there, realise that it's time to let go. Don't grasp onto something that doesn't want to be grasped on to. You will only chase it further away. Never cling or go where you are not wanted. Remember that self-respect, dignity and loving yourself are your top priority.

Yes, it's going to hurt but isn't a long slow painful falling apart going to hurt even more over the long term? If it's over then allow yourself some space to grieve, feel those feelings, let them out. If it helps, write a letter to your ex but do not send it.

If you want him back in a relationship capacity then don't keep in contact and don't stay just friends. If you stay friends then you won't give him the opportunity to miss you as you are still in his life in a lesser capacity. If you can cut ties with dignity and self respect, then there's a chance at a later date that your ex may realise what a wonderfully balanced self-controlled person he is missing and return to you of his own free will. If you turn into a "bunny boiler" at this point then you've almost certainly blown it.

How to get over it

Allow yourself the time to grieve; you need to heal your wounds before you get out dating again. The amount of time that this may take will vary and can depend upon how long you were together and how attached you were to your relationship. Be strong; spend your time with the people who love you. When you are on your own you can cry, scream or beat up a pillow if it helps but remember that you existed without this person once before and you can do so again. Look after yourself; when you feel up to it try a new hobby or make some new friends. The sun will shine again and you will be OK, however bad you feel now; and one day you will look back and know that it was the right decision.




Need more help with breaking up? Then check out resources from dating experts...


GET YOUR MAN BACK - Elaine M.D.
when he becomes distant, pulls away or breaks up with you

Relationship expert and bestselling relationship author Elaine M.D. presents her system to win back your man when he becomes distant or ends your relationship. The system claims to be the simplest, the best, and the most comprehensive easy to follow step-by-step plan on how to get your man back and make him commit!
>Click here for more details on how to get your man back and make him commit.

CATCH HIM AND KEEP HIM - Christian Carter

Christian Carter is a no-nonsense-talking relationship expert who doesn't mince his words when he tells women how to meet and keep a man. His "Catch Him and Keep Him" e-Book will help you to understand why men behave the way they do and how to draw him in closer - for keeps. Make sure that you sign up for his free newsletters and learn secrets about men by clicking on the link below:
>Click here to learn secrets about men and find out more about Christian's dating and relationship programmes.
>Click here to read my review of Christian Carter.

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