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Highly recommended reading for anyone who has any kind of issues in their relationship (i.e. everyone!)

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This woman is amazing! She knows what she is talking about. Check out her books and audios.

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Saving a Relationship - Conflict, Fighting and Communication

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Relationship Communication and Conflict Resolution

As time goes by, it can be so easy to let life get in the way of our relationships and to build up little hotbeds of resentment which can eventually explode into a heated argument or turn the hottest relationship ice-cold.

Unfortunately, problems in relationships are inevitable and the way in which you deal with these can determine whether your relationship will survive in the long term. One of the keys to being good at handling conflict is becoming aware of the patterns which we have developed through life, in particular the buttons we allow other people to push, and taking a look at how we can handle these situations more effectively.

So, when problems arise, do you blame and attack your partner or do you bring up your issues early in a positive and constructive manner? You can let your partner know that he has upset you without whining, shouting or being abusive. If you can communicate in a constructive fashion and include positive messages, even when you have issues with your partner, your relationship will go from strength to strength.

So, don't shout, don't fight, don't argue and don't be abusive! Don't dish out the blame. Putting him down, telling him what a terrible person he is and generally making him feel bad, will only lead to your resentment being returned. Remember that your man may not even be aware that you had a problem.

Never try to resolve a problem when you are wound up. Back off a little and allow yourself to calm down so that you can think rationally. If you are unable to control your temper, you almost certainly will not help the situation. Before approaching a discussion, take time to think out exactly what the problem is and how you would like it to be resolved. However, be prepared for the other person to reject your ideas; you should be open to negotiation if they have some ideas of their own.

Learn from experience about any negative patterns within the relationship and do your best to eliminate these as far as possible. Always try to include positive comments during any discussion which may be perceived as negative feedback. Be open to receiving but especially to giving an apology where necessary.

Remember that there are 2 sides to every story and your partner may not see things in exactly the same way as you do. You might say that you realise that there are no logical grounds for your being upset but you simply need to get your feelings out in the open so that you can deal with them constructively rather than allowing them to build up inside. If you can remain in a calm state then your partner will more readily be sympathetic to your needs.

If you want to have a healthy loving relationship, you must not allow resentment to build. You must find out what works for you in your relationship in order to bring your problems up for discussion and therefore a mutual resolution. You should retain a healthy respect for your partner and their wants and needs. If you follow the advice given here, you should be more able to cope with any problems which arise in your relationship.
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Need more help with communication or resolving conflict? Then check out resources from dating experts...


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THE WOMEN MEN ADORE (and never want to leave) - Bob Grant

Bob Grant is a marriage counsellor, acclaimed by other experts in the relationships field. He has received praise from other relationship authors for this work and helped many women have the relationship that they want. If you're still hanging on in there with your husband or partner then it's not too late to put Bob's tips and advice into action to help to save your relationship now.
>Click here to get Bob's advice on how to be one of those women that men adore and never want to leave.

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Relationship Conflict, Arguing and Fighting in Relationships - More Articles