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You're Angry and it's Over!

Why it Might be Better to Calm Down Before you Text or Call Him

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I'm sure we've all been there. I know I have. Emotional hell has broken loose in your relationship for whatever the reason. Perhaps he hasn't been in touch for a few days. Perhaps he's done something to upset you. Perhaps you just don't feel that you're important enough to him. You've stewed on it for a while. Now you're reeling with anger and he's going to get it. You pick up your phone and you fire off that highly emotional double or triple text message that tells him it's over. For a while you experience a slight feeling of satisfaction. Then the reality hits and doubt begins to set in...

Out of Control = Hurt + Regrets

So what is going on here? Well, chances are you allowed yourself to have an out of control reaction to a situation which you probably created in your own mind. Ok so you are upset but it's probably never a good idea to finish with a man when you are in this kind of state. Basically when you feel such force of overwhelming anger, you are liable to do and say things that you will regret. And, if you've finished with him under these kinds of circumstances, I'm willing to bet that when you do eventually calm down then you have or are going to regret it.

You probably felt hurt and, out of your hurt, you wanted to hurt him back. So you told him it was over. And now that reality has set in you are worried that you have lost him for good. And you kind of realise that it was your own doing. And you feel pretty bad and so the cycle of hurt continues.

Who's the Crazy One Here?

Now, if he's pretty crazy about you then he's probably going to come back. But perhaps he now thinks you're pretty crazy (especially if you've done this type of thing before) and he's glad that you've spared him the painful experience of telling you that it's over. So, whatever happens resolve to learn from this. Impress on your mind how bad you feel when you allow yourself to get carried away with your overreaction. And resolve, if possible, to act differently in the future. After all, it is only when you become aware of the negative patterns in your relationships that you are able to change them into something that serves you better.

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Were Your Feelings Justified?

So, here is a little extra to reflect upon. There are 2 possibilities here. If you can be sure that you were completely justified in feeling hurt by his actions or lack of them, then you might have done yourself a favour. If his hurting you is a regular occurrence then finishing with him was probably the best thing you could do. Resolve to stick to what you have said and find a way to get over him.

On the other hand, if you feel a bit silly when you calm down and realise that you did overreact, perhaps you do need to rethink your relationship skills a little. Start by learning to pull back when you're not sure you're fully emotionally in control. Realise that lack of control can do more harm than good. Wait until you've calmed down before you deal with highly charged situations. That way you'll save yourself from a lot of additional hurt and embarrassment in the future.

Would you like to know the secrets to dating success and having the attitude and communication skills that draw him in and make him want to commit to you? Sign up for my free dating success guide and email series now. Immediate download gives you all the information you need to get from dating to relationship.

Need more help in the early dating stages? Then check out resources from dating experts...

CALLING MEN - Mimi Tanner
The Complete Guide To Calling & Emailing The Men You Date

In my opinion Mimi Tanner is the queen of dating advice when it comes to how to handle those troublesome dating phases. If you think it's OK to chase a man or bombard him with attention, then you need to read this right now! Don't email, call or text a man again until you've read this eBook.
>Click here to get Mimi's advice on when it's OK to email, call or text a man.
>Click here to find out more about Mimi's eBook

CATCH HIM AND KEEP HIM - Christian Carter

Christian Carter is a no-nonsense-talking relationship expert who doesn't mince his words when he tells women how to meet and keep a man. His "Catch Him and Keep Him" eBook covers all the basic essentials of dating and relationships for women and is a great start for those of you who are wondering where it is all going wrong. He also has loads of other great programs which I highly recommend. Make sure that you sign up for his free newsletters and learn secrets about men by clicking on the link below.
>Click here to learn secrets about men and find out more about Christian's dating and relationship programmes.
>Click here to read my review of Christian Carter.